Prayer for Yom Kippur 5762

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This is a special prayer that I wrote as Yom Kippur was approaching 

Dear One,

For days now, perhaps longer, I have searched.
I have searched to find the words
That will reach You and move You.

We need your help so much
And we are so undeserving
You know, all too well,
How we serve our own egos sometimes
When we could be doing Your work,

How we give in to pettiness and anger
When we could be making
Your Presence manifest.

I would like to be able to promise
That we will do much better this next year
But then, next year, I'd be apologizing
For not carrying through.

And yet, we must find a way.
We must.  You know that all too well.

I've searched and searched for ways
To do a better job and I've learned
That we really do need Your help,
We always have.

We have asked You to be
Our Parent and our Ruler
And yet,
Perhaps we have missed the point.

Parents guide and nurture
And You certainly do that,
But parents cannot force you
To live as loving siblings.

And rulers cannot force you
To be gentle to your neighbor.

So parents and rulers
Cannot help us face
The toughest foe around,
The one inside of us.

I want to be the victor there
So I can do Your work.

I need to rout the terrorist
That lurks within my being
The one that says its okay
To separate my Self
From You or from others
To seek my own desires
Or hide from my own fears.

Or the one that says be angry
Or the one that says be idle
Or the one that says...

But then, you know about them,
And when I'm quiet, so do I.

So what help can I ask of You
That will facilitate
My moving ever closer
To You and to Your work?

I need to find You
While in my darkest moments
I need to feel You
While in my deepest fears
I need to know that
You are always there.

Please help me find the place
Within my heart and Soul
That knows that You are there
That knows it very well

Help me correct my errors
Without beating myself for them
Help me be a little kinder
To others and to me
Help me keep my balance
In good times and bad

Please be there when I seek You.

Oh, You already are.
You have always been there

I have been the one
Who has looked beyond You
And through You
And everywhere else.

You have always been there
And You always will be
When I am still and quiet
When I take time to be.

© 5762, 2001  Shafir Lobb
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Congregation Eitz Chayim